Cancer, IV's, Money & Jesus
Well….WE woke up again today people!
Last week I had a great 3 day stay at Høtel Hospital. I haven’t had any real complications from my cancer surgery for the past 4 years (which I am so grateful for), but last week it all hit the proverbial fan.
I was getting ready to fly out the next morning to lead a women's conference in California, when I felt the pain begin. Now, in what I do for a living, I get paid to do what I feel made to do, of which I am also extremely grateful. I get to travel and lead people WITH Jesus through music and speaking. The details aren’t so much important, other than, I have cut back on the amount of travel this season to focus on a new record and on 10000MINUTES.com. ALL to say, finances have been tighter than normal.
In all honesty, the thing that was most pressing on my heart as I was writhing in pain, wasn’t how sad my cancer journey has been or anything obvious like that, but worry surrounding our finances. I knew that the money from the conference wouldn’t be there, because I wasn’t able to go. I knew we’d have to eat the plane tickets etc. Our insurance...well it totally sucks :) and we were going to have to pay our full deductible from this one episode. Oh and taxes are kicking my butt this year and bills are real things. First world problems...I totally get it, but it was and is real to me. (please hear me that this is not a cry for help or for your cash...even though you can always partner with us financially at 10000MINUTES.com , But how walking WITH Jesus has given me life this past week :)
So much of how we see God dictates how we live our lives. In those moments, I was living a hellish and Godless existence. My belief about God, was tainted by my circumstance. Jesus asked His disciples of 3 years “who do you say that I am”, and if that question was for me in my internal chaos, I would have to say that He wasn’t trustworthy. He wasn’t really doing anything about my circumstance, so I need to take over WITH my god named Worry.
As I was getting my IV hooked up, I remembered the 10000MINUTES.com practice that we had been doing the week before. Instead of practicing worry, we practiced trust by saying/praying and realigning with the names and attributes of God.
I started affirming God for His track record in my life and others lives around me. I claimed Him as my provider and heart shaper. Whether things work out how I want them to or not, Jesus is at work in all things inviting me into joy-filled contentment because He is WITH me! The energy of my heart went from stress to rest.
People, I am out of the hospital (thank you Jesus), with no IV ports or tubes invading my body (thank you Jesus), and I am in the same difficult financial place as I was when I entered the hospital (thank you Jesus). In ALL things He is working for my good. Today, let’s be found practicing trust instead of worry. Jesus open our eyes to what you’re up to all around us.
10000 MINUTES Practice:
What is it that’s stealing your perspective today? Practice Trust instead of Worry today.