005: I'm Blessed Because You Are Here - RETHINK Series | Podcast Ep. 005

This week, guest speaker Suzie Lind stops by to share which marvel character she would date, how she navigates stress and the idea that being blessed is to be a blessing. We’ve all heard the term “God Moments.”

Those special moments where God shows up just at the right time! But what does it say about the other moments? Is God not present then?

This week’s Practice:

Breathe In: I Am Blessed

Breathe Out: Because You Are Here

+ 005 I'm Blessed Because You Are Here - Suzie Lind Transcript

Tim: All right, everybody. Tim Timmons here with another 10,000 minute experiment. To my hard right is Emmoe Doniz.

Emmoe: Yellow.

Tim: To my immediately soft left is ...

Chris: That's so weird.

Tim: Chris Cleveland, everybody.

Chris: Hey, y'all. I wanted to do applause for Emmoe, but then I only got one clap out, but she deserves so much more.

Tim: A single clap is totally strong.

Chris: Okay.

Emmoe: One claps enough.

Tim: Yeah. A single clap. I mean, that's even better than a standing O.

Emmoe: Yeah.

Tim: So, anywho. Then our special guest this week is Suzie Lind.

Suzie: Hi.

Tim: Yeah. We're standing up right now.

Suzie: I like the slow clap.

Tim: Slow clap?

Chris: I like the slow clap, too. Except I'd try to do it in high school and no one would join in. I'm just the idiot-

Tim: For yourself?

Chris: Trying to clap.

Emmoe: You're just clapping off beat.

Chris: Like, what is happening?

Tim: Everybody, Suzie Lind is one of my great friends. I get to work with Suzie. We're part of the same church community, which is beautiful, at Journey. She's kind of like my sister. I love my sisters. My sisters are my favorite humans on the planet, and Suzie has kind of taken that role here in Tennessee. She actually knows my sister really well. That's how we met [inaudible 00:01:11].

Suzie: Which is why I think that's a big deal, and I don't take that lightly. I love that. So, thank you.

Tim: Yeah. Cause you know my sister and how much I love my sisters. Suzie is a great speaker, teacher, she's a pastor. She's a great mom, great wife, great friend. I was trying to think of something else stupid, but I couldn't because you're great.

Suzie: Thanks. Thanks for having me.

Tim: You're a great hostess. Hospitality is a major gift of yours.

Suzie: Aw. I just like having people over.

Tim: Suzie has more people at her house than ... I mean, if you guys are hurt, you've haven't been invited yet.

Chris: I didn't know until just now.

Tim: Yeah, she actually said to not have you at some point.

Suzie: I did not. I would love to have them over.

Tim: You did. You did. You said that before this. You said, you know what I will never do is I will never have Chris Cleveland over at the house. I love all the people, but not him.

Suzie: I would love to have all the Clevelands over my house.

Chris: It's going to happen. Although you don't know what you're asking for.

Suzie: I mean, I've survived the Timmons.

Chris: My crew rolls strong. Well, yeah, Maybe.

Tim: But Suzie has four awesome kids. Jason, 19?

Suzie:

20. He just turned 20.

Tim: That's what I said, 20.

Suzie: I know.

Tim: 20, all the way down.

Suzie: So, 20, 17, 15, and nine.

Tim: And She's got a lot of girls.

Suzie: None.

Tim: That's not true. She's got all boys.

Suzie: I do have a lot of really great girls that I'm auntie Suzie to, I'm the second mom to, which is really fun.

Tim: Yes.

Chris: I'm afraid of that fourth child.

Tim: Her fourth child?

Suzie: Oh, it's so great.

Chris: No, not of hers.

Tim: You jerk. You don't even know him.

Chris: Of the proverbial fourth child, you know what I mean?

Tim: Yeah, I do.

Chris: It's like you get three kind of in a cluster and then the one that's hanging out. It gives me nightmares, actually.

Suzie: People used to always try to talk us into having a fourth child. They would say that it evens things out. Once you have three, you might as well have more and all that. We were like, no, no, no, no, no. If you discern from the age gap between our third and the fourth, you might assume that that was not our idea to have a fourth child, but he really has been an amazing gift to our family. I love the fourth child.

Chris: You're not going to talk me into it today.

Suzie: I'm not trying.

Tim: But if you go to her house.

Suzie: I mean, you do you. I'm just saying. It's pretty great. We've had a good experience with the whole thing.

Tim: How many people have said, "You know how they're made, right?" You know? I mean it's so amazing. We have four kids, mainly in-

Suzie: We had somebody tell us that we need to get a TV.

Tim: Get a TV.

Chris: Oh, God.

Tim: Gosh. Those are just the dumbest jokes ever.

Suzie: So dumb. Cause we have a TV.

Chris: How many pastors have you known that have five or six kids?

Tim: How many pastors do I know?

Chris: Yeah.

Tim: Not many.

Chris: Really? I know so many.

Tim: Number one, you're bragging. Because it's like, you've got so many friends.

Chris: I have a lot of friends.

Tim: Yeah.

Chris: Their names are ... Just kidding.

Suzie: Well, PSA for the people. I mean, we have no issue with birth control. We were happily using birth control.

Tim: Yeah. Us too, with our twins.

Suzie: Yeah.

Tim: Yeah. Twins. We were the same way. The stuff doesn't work.

Chris: Can we derail this even more?

Tim: Oh gosh, I think we're doing great. So many blessings.

Chris: Yeah.

Emmoe: Lord.

Tim: How [inaudible 00:04:10] are you about to get?

Chris: My wife was conceived post vasectomy.

Suzie: We found out about Nathan three days after Steve's vasectomy.

Tim: Oh.

Chris: Wow. Wow.

Suzie: Yeah. He came home from work early because you know, he was still in pain, and he sits down on the couch and I'm like, so what would be the most ironic thing that could happen?

Tim: Oh, my gosh.

Chris: I love it.

Emmoe: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Chris: But at that point, what else do you have to accomplish in life? You know what I mean? You beat all the odds just to be here.

Suzie: Yeah.

Chris: That's how I feel about it.

Tim: Yeah. No, that's really powerful. Yeah. That's what we're going to talk about today is birth control, everybody. What the Catholics think about it. What do evangelicals think about it?

Emmoe: Can't wait.

Tim: The Protestants? You know, we're just going to dive into this. Just kidding. Well, we are talking about blessings. Hashtag blessings.

Chris: Hashtag blessings.

Tim: And How being blessed in our stress, how many times with those four children, I've been blessed with my stress. But the whole point Suz, and we've talked about it this past week and we've kind of been practicing it here and there, but, I think this day as we talk about this, it'll be more about just discovering what we see about blessings, and what we see about where we go in our stress.

Tim: Suz, we talked about this past week what the word blessing actually means. It means to be favored, or adored, or to be content. One of the main definitions was to be made holy or to be being made holy or whole.

Tim: Okay. So, Suzie when you think of the word blessed, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Just off the bat, not even knowing all that you know or practicing what you've been practicing. When you just would normally think of the word or hear the word blessed or to bless somebody, what do you think?

Suzie: I actually think of the word good, but not in terms of like everything's good or it's all good, but that the goodness of God is evident.

Tim: The goodness of God is evident.

Suzie: Yeah. Just because something's really good from God, and just because something is the way it's supposed to be or that you're even experiencing the benefits of it, it doesn't mean that it's easy and wonderful and fun.

Tim: One of the things that we're laughing about this past week is that 112 times in the new Testament the word bless or blessing or blessed is used, and none of which connects blessing to material prosperity.

Suzie: Right.

Tim: And how often it's either material prosperity or the blessing is like, I got a job or I got this. Man, I'm so blessed this week because I found a mate this week.

Suzie: I think a lot about in Genesis 12 when God's talking to Abraham and he tells him that he will be blessed to be a blessing. Then you think about the whole life of Abraham after that, and everything that happened with him and Sarah, and their travels, and the obstacles that they came up with, and the years of infertility, and then having Ishmael, and then having Isaac, and then parting from Ishmael. I mean, there's so many things that were hard that came with that, and there were so many wonderful things that came, but they didn't come through anything in particular that was easy, but he was blessed to be a blessing.

Tim: That was the line.

Suzie: Yeah. It just doesn't always look the way we think it's going to look. It is all those things that you said, being favored and whole, yes. And also along with that comes stuff we don't always want to think about.

Tim: Yeah. In a sense, this past week we've been practicing in our stress realizing and being aware of the blessing even in our stress. What stressed you guys out this past week?

Suzie: Yeah. This was a really stressful week. My son got into a car wreck last Friday.

Tim: But he's okay.

Suzie: He's okay. You know, thank God he's okay. I probably thought what a blessing that he's okay. Still, it comes with so much, right? First of all, you have this car that's probably totaled that you have to deal with, and the financial stuff and all that. Then you have a 17 year old who's already really hard on himself and doesn't need me to be hard on him because he does a fine job for everyone. Then just the grief for him. I mean, he saved up some hard worked for money and loved this car. He searched for this car, and now there's this grief that it's gone and all the unknowns that come with how will we replace it and all that stuff.

Suzie: There's a lot of logistical details that stress you out, and then there's the just dealing with it emotionally. Then also what's true, that yes, he was not injured, which is the most important thing, and neither was anyone from the other car, and we have insurance, and that's what insurance is for. It's not the worst thing that could happen.

Tim: How aware of that were you in the moments?

Suzie: I had to remind myself of it.

Tim: There's a sobriety of the awareness of being blessed in all circumstances.

Suzie: Yeah.

Tim: I mean, there's really a sobriety in that. Then we kind of get drunk on the stress and of the worry about something. Were you pretty much sober most of that time?

Suzie: No. Only because there were a lot of things also this week. So, I'm teaching on Sunday. That's naturally for me, in a week before I teach, it already feels tight because I need to have time to prepare, and when you're a mom and it's just ... You know. I don't have to go into all that. Then I have another kid that's trying to figure out his college plans and needs me to help with him in that. I have one kid who was quarantined because he was exposed to COVID. There were all these things kind of happening all at once and a lot of things that needed to happen. I did get really drunk on the stress. There was one day where I was going to lose my mind, and I had to practice. I had to do what I do to practice working through that and remembering all the blessing.

Tim: What's it look like for you to lose your mind? Where do you go? I sit and I just memorize. I've memorized Lamentation. I go over that over and over, but what do you do?

Suzie: I can get angry. I don't think I got angry this week at all, really, but I do get very tasky. I'm really great in crisis because I go into what do we need to do?

Tim: Yes. You nailed it.

Suzie: To take care of all the things.

Tim: Yep.

Suzie: I get very tasky and I can very easily just stay in my head with the tasks and disconnect from my heart and lose sight of ... With the car, walking through the learning opportunity. I'm aware of the blessing, but he's not. Getting to parent through that and show my son what that looks like. I can overlook a lot of that stuff really easily because stuff has to get done.

Tim: Yeah. What about you guys? What stressed you out this past week?

Emmoe: I don't know if I experienced stress so much as I experienced a lot of bittersweet days. I had to say goodbye to a job I really loved, and it didn't stress me, but it cut, I think. It was hard to let go of something I once saw as like the blessing. I was like, yeah, this is the thing that's going to make me whole, if I think about it in the way we're describing it. Now to let it go and realize, man, the blessing is staying with me. The job was never my blessing. It was experiencing God in every day of that, of my time in that job, and the people I carry with me. It was bittersweet, I think. It was more sweet than bitter, thankfully. But, I was like, man, the blessing of experiencing that, experiencing God with these people and to know that I get to still do that, was the sweetness of it. I think before I would've been more stressed or been like, dang, my blessing's gone. I need a new one, like I need a new job.

Tim: Right. Cause the blessing was the job. It was so easy for that to become the blessing.

Emmoe: Yes. I remember when I got the job cause I was like, yes, you came through. This is what I needed, before I got the blessing I was asking for. But really I was like, man, I'm starting to get it. Not get it like master it, but every day I'm understanding the blessings always been there.

Tim: If you were to look back on your job, what were the actual blessings? Not the job being the blessings or the financial part, which are all great, and the relationships, but what was the process of him making you whole in the midst of it?

Emmoe: Man, I've been thinking a lot about it. So, whenever you're ready. For real, for real. I was like, man, I didn't realize it's not what I was doing, but it's who I was becoming through that job that blessed me. I was like, man, I've never felt so much more myself, but it wasn't the job, per se. It was just God's goodness coming through.

Tim: Wowza. Yeah. That's worth stacking some stones and remembering for your future.

Emmoe: Yeah. Which should be a week of ours because I've been also exploring alters and just what it looks like to create moments that remind me of a God who blesses me all the time.

Chris: Oh.

Suzie: Yeah.

Emmoe: Cause I'm like, man, these are moments that are reminders that I've never been left alone.

Tim: So good.

Suzie: Yeah. I have a friend who always used to say, "Don't forget to remember."

Tim: Don't forget to remember?

Suzie: Yeah.

Tim: We should write that song.

Suzie: Yeah. When you're discouraged and you can't maybe see what God is doing or hear what he's saying, but if you don't forget to remember, then you can count on, okay, well he showed up here, and he provided here, and this is what I know to be true of him. I can remember that and count on that for what I don't know, going forward.

Tim: Part of the role of the blessed is to stack some stones on top of each other that will help us remember the goodness and nearness of God. Whether you're in the middle of a confusing or difficult or wonderful season, let's just take a second or a whole day and write down the ways and times that God has brought you through to where you find yourself today. Don't forget to remember.

Tim: I love that, Suz. That's so beautiful. For me this week, I found myself very stressed in many moments. I released a record recently and, no seriously. Seriously, guys. Stop. Seriously. You're clapping too many times. It was just a single clap is all.

Emmoe: Let's go. It was fire. I mean, congratulations.

Tim: Thank you. Thank you.

Chris: I listened to it.

Suzie: It's very good.

Tim: Thank you. You're on it. So.

Chris: What else would I listen to?

Suzie: I noticed that I wasn't thanked in your Instagram post though. I didn't see my name in that list of people-

Tim: Just supporting friends.

Suzie: That made it happen.

Emmoe: Crying.

Tim: Thank you, the electronical guitar players, and for my supportive friend, Suzie Lind.

Chris: I just started saying thank you and that's it in my liners, because I got so tired of writing them.

Tim: Of everybody?

Chris: Yeah. So, I just say, thank you.

Tim: Do you put their names?

Chris: No. I only say thank you.

Suzie: You know who you are.

Tim: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know who you are.

Chris: Exactly.

Emmoe: But, do you?

Tim: Yes. Yeah. I guess it would work because Suzie at that point would feel like, you're welcome.

Suzie: I chose to believe it. I chose to believe it in my heart.

Chris: If you think I'm thanking you, then you're welcome.

Tim: That is so good.

Emmoe: Crying.

Tim: So, I put out a new record, which is just stressful, and I don't realize how stressful that is. I'll explain that in a second. We're refinancing our house right now because rates are from the Lord. They're a blessing from the Lord.

Chris: I'm trying to make that whole, baby.

Emmoe: They're making you whole.

Chris: Yeah.

Tim: There are so many tasks that did not get done this week so far. I feel the weight of that at the end of every single day. I'm just seeing as I'm saying, okay, so what's the blessing? How am I being blessed and made whole in all of this? The stress is pulling me out of the moment and into future tripping. It's kind of cliche, but it's literally what it's doing is pulling me out of the moment of either when I'm trying to parent my kids, because that was gnarly this week as well. Here's where I go. I go to future, cause I go, okay, my son's going to turn out like this. Or, if this thing doesn't happen, this record isn't really going to hit well. Or, if I don't get this stuff done, then this is not going to come. I just go so hard on the future tripping that I live in my stress, and I'm not actually seeing what else is going on in this? What could I even be being taught in this moment?

Tim: This experiment this week, it helped me stay present, I would say. And not in the moments, I was drunk half the week, maybe even more than ... Not literally on the alcohols, everybody. When we talk about being drunk or sober, I mean that could have been too, but it's more just about on worry, or drunk on fear, or on my identity, or whatever it is. I think I lived in that so much, but this experiment actually helped me to stay present. That was really helpful for me this week. How about you, Chris?

Chris: I lost my mind briefly and it's weird. I think it's a little bit of a combination of both of you guys things. It's like forgetting to remember. I think I can do that really well in stressful situations. Then, also, that triggers me into actions that are not in the best interest of myself. Right? Which honestly, for me, when it comes to business or something like that, it's rushing into something, or taking on too much. You say you're a task person. I become a task person, too. I dive in and I'm like, well, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this, and I don't care if anybody else helps me. I'm going to do it.

Chris: This week for me, it's been this really, coming out of 2020, I felt like, oh, God gave me this year off. I've loved being with my family and blah, blah, blah. God really has provided in really incredible ways. We have lacked for nothing. When I thought about trying to tour, I was like, well maybe I'll try and do something in churches on Sundays. It's like God provided this other thing for me for part of this year where I've been helping out at a church, and it's just been simple. Last week we decided on my end date. Okay, so it's all been temporary, and we all knew this, but I've never done anything in my life where I planned to stop. I've had plenty of endings and most of them, self-admittedly, have not been good. I don't end well. I've been thinking through that. I want to end well, that kind of thing. But then what that it does is I start future tripping.

Tim: Yep.

Chris: It's like, oh man, how am I going to provide or do whatever? Because I'm forgetting that God has provided for me so much. I mean, over the last four years, it's unreal, since we've moved out here. One text message from my booking agent sent me off. I mean, I just lost. I lost a year and a half of like ...

Tim: All cred.

Chris: Oh, God. You provided so well. I love my family. I'm going to stay home this year and really enjoy this.

Emmoe: Hashtag blessed.

Tim: On our walk this morning, I got the unfiltered, unedited version of this.

Chris: That's right. Yeah. Then I'm like straight into like, nope. I'm freaking booking every day. If you're not going to do it, I'm freaking going to do it. I don't need you. I was hoping I didn't have to do your job for you.

Emmoe: Too real.

Chris: I mean, I just go straight into it. The beautiful thing about this podcast for me has been, I've been able to catch, I have not been able to prevent those moments.

Tim: No, no, no, no.

Emmoe: Right.

Tim: Of course.

Chris: But I've been able to catch myself in them, whether it's cussing at the guy on the highway and having to laugh about it, or catching myself and going to my wife and be like, babe, I'm tripping out on this. This text message derailed me. Then I'm like, what is whole in this situation? I'm still trying to figure it out. I think maybe the first step is getting me out of the trip. I think how you describe that, remembering, I think maybe it is that first step, because that's really what centers me and say, oh no, God you've provided, you brought me here. You didn't bring me here for nothing. You're not going to leave us, hang us out to dry.

Chris: Even talking to Tim earlier I was like, when I really dive in, I'm like, what's the worst that happens? I sell my house in Williamson County right now and make a bunch of money and go live with my parents on a lake or something? Get ready, mom and dad.

Tim: They got a boat. I'm going. I want to do it.

Chris: You guys can all come. There's a pool. It's great. It's like, what's really the worst thing that happens? You start dissecting it and trying to figure out what it is. I had been on a stress free ish streak, and then that one little thing just sent me over. It's crazy.

Tim: If he is blessing you just by his presence, and him walking with you in and through things, how could he be making you whole? What would it look like that he's making you whole, in that moment?

Chris: Gosh.

Tim: Or you already are whole, you're just waking up to it.

Chris: Yeah. I don't know. That's a beautiful part about this thing is that I feel like I'm kind of figuring it out as we go.

Tim: Hence the experiment.

Chris: Hence the experiment. And it's not just, I'm not going to give you a Jesus answer if I don't have one.

Tim: I love it.

Chris: I really feel like, even though I've grown, I could tell you what I know what I should tell you, but I'm not sure. I still think I'm in process. I think maybe whole changes.

Suzie: What do you mean? What do you mean by that? What that looks like?

Chris: Maybe making me whole at 25 is different than making me whole at 36.

Suzie: Heck yeah.

Chris: And whole with my business is different than whole with my family.

Emmoe: That's great.

Chris: And whole with myself. We talked about like, oh no, it's okay to hold people accountable to do their job. Which is what I was stressed about with booking shows, but it's not okay to lose my mind about it. So, how can I separate those things and hold people accountable with grace and not be a jerk, which I have an issue with. Working on that. And not let it run my day.

Tim: Yeah. It actually takes over and got you drunk on this stuff.

Chris: Yep, and I guess the beauty of it is, and the process of becoming whole is saying, I could recognize it, go to my wife and say, oh, this is killing me.

Suzie: I think one thing that I'm noticing, Chris, that you keep saying about when you go to McKenzie and talk to her about it, it just reminds me of how much we need other people in our pursuit of wholeness. You have to be able to not just say it out loud to God. I mean, saying things out loud to God is really important and helpful and necessary, but then saying it out loud to someone else to help diffuse whatever shame you might be feeling, or the anger, or just someone that can say you're being slightly ridiculous. Let's pull it back a little bit. But, it's so important to include somebody. I love that you went on a walk with Tim and you gave him the unfiltered version, because he's the perfect person to do that with.

Tim: That's what we do.

Suzie: But, that's part of what makes us whole is the people that we can be fractured with.

Chris: Right. Yeah. That's exactly right.

Tim: I love that, Suz. Another thing I just thought about this past week and I'm learning about myself, and I've actually talked to all of you about this offline so I'll say it online. I'm learning a lot about my expectations in life. How high of expectations I hold on myself and the things that I do, which you'd never really ... If you know me well, you'd be like, no, you don't. You could care less about anything really. It's just not true. Internally, I hold such high expectations for certain things. When those things, like my record, I am so thankful for how it has done so far and the songs are doing well and all that stuff, but I can't really even just celebrate it as a project and go man, what a great gift. I mean, I can't believe I get to do that for a living.

Chris: Right.

Tim: What a huge, huge thing. Even that I got to write these songs and put them out, and I had tons of people to actually thank, cause I write names down, Chris.

Suzie: Yeah, Chris. Chris.

Chris: I appreciate people.

Tim: What a beautiful thing in just putting something out, that is powerful. That's awesome. But, I go to a place of I'm expecting it to do this well on the charts and if it doesn't, I'm like, well, I'm kind of a failure, because my expectations have completely drawn me away from remembering who the actual blessing is, and what the blesser is doing in me through the process. Even in this, I'm actually being blessed, not by failure, but by being refined, even in this moment.

Suzie: That's good.

Tim: Which has been really helpful. I think of that in all the situations in my past week. My expectations with my kids, or my wife, or myself. Those are so dangerous. We're going to have to jump and do a whole series on expectations at some point.

Suzie: Yeah. That would be good.

Tim: It will basically filet me.

Emmoe: I'd be down since I struggle with perfectionism. Let's go.

Tim: Gosh.

Suzie: But, you know, when you say that, I think for me another thing that was stressful for me this week was just the worry of what people think of me.

Emmoe: Yeah.

Suzie: Our church has chosen to process out loud some of the things going on in our country right now. It's really hard for me because A, I don't want to hurt people and I don't want to alienate people, but I can get really hung up on other people's approval of whatever they think about what we're doing and saying. It's important to care about what people are experiencing and feeling, but to care to the point where their approval matters more than God's approval, or your obedience starts shifting to the people and not to God, it's a very slippery slope for me.

Tim: Yeah. Suzie and I are on another podcast together and it's called Journey Now, and you guys should go check it out. It's pretty radical. I get nervous every week.

Suzie: I do, too.

Tim: One of the guys, Mike Erre, brings up just a concept or a thing that's going on in real time. I mean, it's heated.

Chris: I've been enjoying them.

Tim: I pee my pants a little bit every time he says it, I'm like, oh.

Suzie: He doesn't give us any time to prepare for it. So, it's really a live conversation about what we're currently thinking, feeling, processing. You don't have time to get your theology right and lined up with your emotions and information and all that stuff. It is pretty vulnerable. To worry about people thinking we're too this, or not enough this, especially at a time when the church isn't looked upon very favorably by outsiders. I even hate that word outsiders, but by people who are not choosing to participate in it. It can very easily bust into your wholeness.

Tim: Right. Yes.

Chris: Here's my encouragement. I've been listening to those. I think, specifically you, Suzie, you are consistent. You challenge some of the churchy crap that I think we've all dealt with our whole lives, which I love. I think you do that really well and graciously on that podcast. It's been one of my favorite parts of listening to it.

Suzie: Well, thanks.

Chris: Yeah. You're welcome.

Tim: We should all go around and just have affirmations of Suzie today.

Suzie: Yeah.

Tim: Everybody who's listening, we are all huge fans of Suzie Lind, so this is an honor to have you on here. One of the questions here is just, is there a part of this practice that you'd want to actually continue with?

Emmoe: The lack of blessing makes us feel like we've been abandoned and the truth is we're not, right?

Tim: Lack of outward financial or job wise blessing. Is that what you mean?

Emmoe: Yeah. When Chris is like, I'll do it myself then. That's an expression of I've been abandoned, so I'm just going to do it myself. I think moving forward, I want to remember so many people, God in them. They're trying to be part of that completion throughout those moments, instead of, now I have to measure my relational time with people because I'm not there, or I'm having a bad moment. I think I want to move forward with sharing that with people.

Tim: Love that.

Chris: Yeah. When I'm future tripping, it takes me out of the moment with people. What you're saying there both helps in the future and in the moment. You articulate things way better than I do. It's my favorite thing.

Emmoe: Thanks, Chris.

Tim: Oh, you weren't talking to me. You were talking to Emmoe.

Chris: No, no, no.

Tim: Dang it.

Emmoe: Come on, Tim. Let me have one.

Tim: Suz, any thoughts for you?

Suzie: Yeah. I'm a total escapist in my mind. When things are really stressful, like the other day I was driving. I'm supposed to get off on 96 on the 65 South to get to my house.

Tim: Everybody just listen how she just said the 65 and the 96. She is so California. I just get so happy.

Chris: Get off the 5.

Emmoe: That's real. The six five.

Suzie: It's the 96.

Tim: Gosh, thank you. Please. The Suzie, please continue.

Suzie: So, I just had this thought go through my head of what if I just kept driving? What if I just kept driving and just drove away and called my family and said, I'm not coming home tonight.

Chris: Oh, you'd wind up in Alabama somewhere.

Suzie: I know. Or, I could just get to Florida, to the beach.

Chris: Yeah, there you go. Keep going.

Suzie: I could keep going. I literally have those fantasies in my head sometimes. Then other times, just kind of maybe even subconsciously, I'll remove myself from the situation, or I'll put up a fortress around myself towards a person if I feel like they're going to hurt me, or if the situation is not what I want it to be. I find a way to unhealthily remove myself from the situation. But, I love the practice in the sense of breathing in I'm blessed because you're here, and that's it. I love it because it's not only speaking a blessing over myself, but also just recognizing, okay, no, God's here. Even though things are not what they're supposed to be like in my mind, or maybe even in God's mind, he's here and I don't want to be anywhere that he's not. That's, I think, the big part for me.

Suzie: I really love Psalm 23, when he says he makes you lie down in green pastures and he leads you besides still waters, and he prepares a table before your enemies. Those are all things we would never do on our own that he has to do those things. That whole Psalm is about God walking with you. It's always the reminder that he's here. I mean, obviously I have a family. He's here with me. He doesn't want me to leave my family. That's the easy one. Right? Just remembering that I don't have to actually escape. I can try to look for him here, or wait to be found by him here even. That is literally a practice for me because it's just not something that comes naturally. My natural instinct is to just check out.

Tim: Yeah. Suzie Lind, thank you so much for being with us. If you're listening, I'm sure you know now why we love Suzie so much.

Suzie: Thanks for having me, and thanks for all the encouragement and affirmation. I feel so good about myself.

Tim: You're welcome. We'll keep [crosstalk 00:32:24], every single day. If you guys want to be on the show, we'll just encourage you the whole time. Suzie. In one second, we're going to come right back and we're going to do some 10,000 minute questions on you. Speed round. Just get ready. People, we'll be right back.

Suzie: Okay.

Tim: Don't go anywhere.

Tim: All right, everybody. Welcome back. Tim Timmons here. Emmoe Doniz.

Emmoe: Hey, hey, hey.

Tim: Chris Cleveland.

Chris: Yo.

Tim: From The Stars Go Dim. That's the way the Californians would say it. We've got Suzie Lind here as our guest and we've got 10,000 questions for you, Suzie Lind. I'm very excited for you to answer these. Again, this is a speed round, so don't suck. If you were a food, what would you be?

Suzie: Oh my gosh.

Tim: Once again, this is a speed round.

Suzie: I would be Brie cheese.

Tim: And why? Wow. I got so many jokes.

Suzie: I'm strong on the outside, smooth and creamy on the inside.

Emmoe: Yo, let's go.

Suzie: I don't know. That was the first thing that came to my mind.

Tim: I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

Chris: I have no response.

Tim: Yeah. Yeah.

Chris: I'm fine with that.

Emmoe: So good.

Tim: Didn't see that coming. Okay. If you could date one of the Avengers in your life, who would that be? In your past life, in your past life. Cause you're married now. You've been married for many years to an amazing man. You hung out with him.

Suzie: I did.

Tim: We don't need to get too into it. That question made me so happy.

Suzie: Jeremy Renner and I worked together at The Broadway, which is now Macy's. It actually was called The Broadway.

Tim: Yes. Thank you. No, you just hung out with him. We just have given her so much grief about that, so I just felt like it was the right thing to do.

Suzie: Yes. We both worked in cosmetics while he was a struggling actor and I was just working in cosmetics.

Tim: Gosh. You were just Brie cheese. Okay. How old were you when you had the worst haircut of your life?

Suzie: Oh my gosh. I know the answer to this question.

Tim: I bet you do.

Suzie: I was in the third grade.

Chris: Did you give it to your self?

Suzie: No. My aunt gave it to me. She cut my hair. She gave me a boy haircut that was awful for my age. Which I had a pixie cut when I got married. I love the pixie cut, but it's not what that was in third grade. And I had a unibrow.

Tim: You've got way cool hair.

Suzie: I had a uni brow. I was like the little immigrant child with the bad haircut.

Tim: Oh, Suz. That could be a whole other podcast.

Emmoe: Too relatable. I feel seen and known.

Suzie: It was really hard. It was really hard to feel like you belonged.

Tim: Oh, Suz. Okay. So, that will be our next, next one will just be on that. Thank you for sharing that cause I know that was very dear. Pet peeves? Go.

Suzie: Socks on the living room floor. Hopefully my family's listening to this.

Tim: To hell with the devil.

Suzie: Now it's masks being left laying around, like the face masks, the facial coverings. There's something about it that really bugs me. Yeah.

Tim: Wow.

Suzie: I know.

Tim: Okay.

Suzie: Sorry. Were you looking for something more juicy?

Tim: I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Give me one more. Give me another pet peeve. Something that just happens.

Suzie: Currently?

Tim: Yeah.

Suzie: And I do it too, so I'm just going to preface it with that. People who can't hold space for experiences outside of their own.

Chris: Ooh.

Tim: Wow. Okay. Well, that's the fourth podcast I think we've created on this podcast.

Emmoe: That hurt.

Suzie: And I do it, too. I do it, too. I need to really clarify that.

Tim: Okay. If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

Suzie: A vineyard in France.

Tim: A vineyard in France.

Suzie: I know. Doesn't it sound so good?

Emmoe: Take me with you.

Chris: By yourself? Or with people?

Suzie: I'd have all the Brie cheese.

Tim: All the Brie.

Suzie: No, I'd take Steve. I'd take Steve. Yeah, for sure.

Tim: You and Steve would just be making out, eating grapes.

Chris: I don't know that Kenzie would. I think she would say by myself, for sure.

Tim: Yeah. Well, yeah.

Suzie: Yeah. I mean, she might need a day by herself, Chris, but I think ultimately she'd probably want you there with her.

Chris: Like four. Probably four days. I can come like day five.

Tim: You guys, I was telling Chris about this and he's not a grape guy, so it didn't even matter, and I felt unheard. But have you guys tried the muscat grapes? Like Moscato grapes at the grocery store?

Chris: What is Moscato?

Tim: It's like a wine, but it's like the super, super, super sweet wine.

Suzie: Dessert wine.

Chris: Now I feel dumb. I was like, oh no, my kids like the cotton candy grapes.

Tim: Yeah. No, no, no. Well, I would've said the same. Have you tried them, Suz?

Suzie: I haven't. I didn't even know they were a thing, but I like some Moscato wine over ice cream.

Tim: Yes.

Chris: Whoa.

Emmoe: Whoa.

Tim: You guys, Suzie is also a great chef and she is a lover of food, and at some point we're going to actually do a podcast just about food.

Emmoe: Done. Done and done.

Suzie: Oh, that'd be so good.

Tim: Okay. Well Suzie, thanks for being so great.

Suzie: Thank you guys.

Emmoe: You're amazing.

Suzie: You guys were all pretty great. It's really fun.

Tim: Chris just did a single clap again.

Chris: The one clap.

Tim: Bye.

Suzie: Bye.

Chris: You're the best.

Tim: Okay. Everybody, we will be coming right back with the pre-conversation for this next week's experiment. We'll be talking about that here in a second. So, don't go anywhere.

Tim: Okay. So, obviously we're ...

Emmoe: This is why we don't do afternoon ones, guys. Lesson learned, lesson learned.

Chris: Oh yeah. Wow. Yeah. You're right.

Emmoe: Got to look alive. 2:30 PM.

Tim: Total look alive. Look alive, look alive.

Emmoe: 9:00 AM, holy. 2:00 PM, trash.

Chris: [inaudible 00:37:52].

Tim: Okay. We are thinking a few things right now. We're rethinking doing this podcast in the afternoon, number one, because it is not wise everybody. That's why we do it at 3:00 AM every morning.

Chris: Yep.

Tim: We get up early. We get it done. Get her done. So, we are thinking what time we're going to do this podcast and we're rethinking the word blessed.

Emmoe: Yes.

Chris: Okay.

Tim: That was week one. Week two, I'm very excited. We have Chonda Pierce next week, who is a legend. She's a comedian.

Chris: All over the place.

Tim: She's all over the place. She's awesome. But, she's got quite a journey she's gone through. It'll be fun to even talk about this specifically with her, that all moments are God moments. That God is near. We're almost making fun of it. And you guys, please, if you do this or you know somebody who's done this, don't make fun of them or don't take this as a personal affront. We're just rethinking. We're not saying you're lame, but we're just taking the idea of the God wink. Right?

Chris: Yeah. It's like a punch in the gut.

Tim: Yeah. Well, I mean, here's the thing. This morning, just this morning, I was on the Instagrams and I saw somebody say, they were talking about something that God did, and it was like, this was just such a great God wink. It was somebody that I respect a ton.

Chris: Oh, wow.

Tim: I was like, wow, this is perfect timing for me to not throw shade on anybody who says that.

Emmoe: Right. Right.

Chris: Right.

Tim: But just to go, how do we rethink this?

Chris: Because it does feel like such a weird, bad Christian phrase.

Tim: Yes. Overused, or-

Chris: But maybe just for people who have been stuck in the Christian world for too long. Maybe normal people who haven't grown up in all this don't think that.

Tim: So, okay. What to us is a God moment? How would you define a God moment, a God wink?

Chris: Okay. I saw an Instagram thing the other day, too, and it was this guy and he'd like died on his 30th birthday. Follow me. It was like Good News, whatever, on Instagram.

Tim: Once again, never doing this in the afternoon.

Chris: Died like on his, yeah, on his 30th birthday, so it'd been four years. When he was a kid, he did a birthday ad. Okay? Where he is like in front of this birthday cake as a little kid and they put it on all these trucks.

Tim: I did see that.

Chris: Just the other day, his brother's driving on the highway. Hadn't seen this in forever. On the guy's birthday, sees this ad with his brother as a little kid and the birthday cake. It just said, "God wink" on it.

Tim: Gosh.

Chris: I was like, okay, Good News Instagram. You got me there. You got me there.

Emmoe: Whoa.

Tim: Yeah. Or is that coincidence?

Chris: I think it's coincidence, but.

Tim: Lines are open, caller. Please call in. Yeah. So, what to you is a God moment? A God wink? I mean, we're not even judging it. We're just saying what do people think that is?

Emmoe: It's one of those situations where you can't explain it. It had to have been God because it makes no sense.

Tim: Yeah. God really came through. He showed up.

Emmoe: I think also we sometimes say God wink or God moments for answered prayers, too.

Tim: Right.

Emmoe: We're like, this was such a God moment, slash, because I've been praying for this specific job and he came through. It's only God because God knows my heart. All those things are true, but then they just lock in holy moments, moments with God, to only the ones that come out in our favor.

Tim: Right.

Chris: Ooh.

Tim: I love that. The prayer that we've been praying for, the God moment happened, God really showed up in this moment. Ultimately it's because I got what I really wanted.

Emmoe: Or needed.

Chris: So, what does that say in all the other moments?

Tim: Yeah. Are those not God moments? Are those not God winks? Is he like welp, sucks to be you.

Chris: Right. I'm not one eye closing at you like that.

Tim: Yeah. I'm double winking.

Emmoe: I know. I'm staring straight at you. No blinking.

Tim: Or his eyes were closed. I mean, in a sense, eyes are closed in those moments.

Chris: Yeah. Oh, winking is so creepy anyways. Just an aside.

Tim: We'll jump into that with Chonda.

Chris: Great.

Tim: Yeah. So, it's a moment we can't explain. God really came through. There's a thankfulness for the answered miracle almost.

Chris: Yeah.

Tim: But not maybe for the moment to moment nearness in it all.

Chris: Yeah. I feel like it's making a caricature out of God, if I'm really thinking about it.

Tim: Wow.

Emmoe: Hmm.

Chris: It's like, I'm only going to acknowledge him maybe in these weird moments that I can't explain, that usually tend to be in my favor. We're making God smaller than he is. It's just what comes to mind.

Tim: No, I love that. In the moments where he is not winking at us, what do you feel? Again, I'm just going through our normal idea of blessed is almost this, I was so blessed again. I use this illustration all the time. I got a job. God bless me. Was I not blessed yesterday? Is God good, or was he not good yesterday?

Chris: Right.

Tim: What's the feeling in that moment when we're not getting the blessing? And I'm putting big old quotes. We're not getting the "God wink."

Chris: Like we're alone.

Emmoe: Yeah.

Chris: Or we're out there trying to make it ourselves.

Emmoe: I mean, it sounds extreme. Even hearing us talk about it, being like moments where we're blessed and not blessed. I mean, it's almost like moments where we're blessed and moments when we're cursed, even though we're not thinking of it that way.

Chris: Oh.

Emmoe: Like if God isn't present in something, then what is it? You know? Is it just a moment without God? Or is it a moment cursed, like full abandonment without his presence? Is it the complete opposite or is it just, oh, the other moments are just me waiting for the next God moment.

Tim: Right. Right.

Emmoe: I could almost see why someone would say God wink or God moment, because it's like, again, God orchestrated this and all the other moments, it's not that God hasn't, it's that I'm just waiting for the next moment he's orchestrated. But maybe we're accidentally saying, in all these other moments, God's not here.

Chris: I think what that sets up though is the opposite where people say, well, God abandoned me in this moment.

Tim: Totally.

Chris: Where they feel like that he just turned his back on them. This extreme of, well, if he can give me extra portions of favor, then he can also take his presence away. I don't think I really align with either of those.

Tim: Yeah. What happens when somebody dies that you've been praying for? What happens when something really happens that we've been really asking for? I mean, I think of my kids all the time and the things that we pray for with them and they pray for, and when those things do not happen, how does that shape how they see God?

Chris: Right.

Tim: I use this also all the time, but Malia used to always pray about her bad dreams, that they would go away, and they just weren't. I think in her heart, she's like, what up? I'm not getting any God winks here. You're calling those other thing God winks. He obviously is here just sometimes. I mean, this character, I think it's such a great way of seeing it. Yeah. The antonyms of the word blessed or blessing is discontent, cursed, and unfavored. So, in those moments, does God curse us?

Chris: I think the obvious answer is no, but when we set all this stuff up, it's hard not to feel that way.

Emmoe: Yeah.

Tim: Yeah.

Emmoe: But we feel it.

Chris: We feel it. Yeah.

Emmoe: We feel abandoned. I mean, Jesus is no stranger to that. He felt abandoned for a second. Right? He felt forsaken.

Chris: That's a whole nother podcast right there.

Emmoe: Very true. But the feeling is relatable, that in a moment you could feel abandoned, cause it doesn't feel like it's aligning with a God you believe in.

Chris: You can also lose sight of the big picture in an instance.

Emmoe: I also think it depends on your view of God.

Tim: Oh, completely depends on our view of God because Chris and I, we talk about this all the time on our walks. It's not just the theology, what I believe in my mind to be true about God, it's what I'm actually, if you're an alien looking into my life, this is how you see my life living out. That's actually what I believe to be true about God.

Chris: What do my kids think I believe, from what they see.

Tim: Yeah.

Chris: Sorry, Emmoe.

Emmoe: Yeah. Well, I just think about, again, those who might think there are just moments where I'm waiting for God and then there's moments where I'm cursed by God. That reflects how I see God in general. I see a God who is kind of a sour patch kid.

Chris: Oh, yes. My daughter.

Emmoe: You know those commercials where they cut your hair and then they sit beside you and like give you a flower. It's like, does that determine your God moments or your moments in general? Or is it like, no, I just wait for my savior to come. Does that reflect as well, where it's like, he's always kind of somewhere else. I think that has a lot to say with how you see God's presence show up in your life.

Chris: Yeah. I think the scary part of this to me is if you see other people saying, oh, this is my God moment. It can shape who God is to you.

Emmoe: Yeah.

Chris: Because you're like, I didn't get that.

Tim: Yeah. He hasn't related to me like that.

Chris: God is not here for me.

Emmoe: Man, that was my upbringing, Pentecostal and just seeing people being prophesied over and me being like, what about me? Been trying to live a holy life. Bless me. Tell me what's my life next. You know? Just waiting for that next moment I'd be seen.

Chris: Yeah.

Tim: Okay. Let me just read this scripture. You've probably heard it about a thousand times, but this is in Romans 8. "Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity or are persecuted or hungry or destitute or in danger or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Jesus who loved us. And I'm convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love or nearness, neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons. Neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow. And not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or the earth below. Indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Jesus, our Lord."

Tim: So, the practice this week is to breathe in I'm blessed, breathe out because you're here. Nothing can separate us. I'm blessed because you're here. Not because you're giving me what I want this week, but I'm blessed because you're here. This is more of an awareness practice than anything else. It's less about doing anything. Again, these practices are never about earning something from God. It's just a deeper awareness and hopefully that's what we'll find in this next week as we practice that.

Emmoe: That's great.

Tim: So, don't blow it you guys, and if you do, you're out of the band.

Chris: Oh, okay.

Emmoe: I didn't even know I was in the band. Short lived.

Tim: Window washers. Window washing.

Tim: Thank you so much for listening to the 10,000 minute experiment with us. We are having so much fun doing this and I'm loving your comments. Keep your comments coming on all the social medias. Would you please tell your friends about this if you think it actually might help them or encourage them, and please subscribe or rate it, or give us a good rating. That would be awesome. So, thanks you guys. You will love this next week and let us know how the practice is going. Thanks you guys.

Tim: Please go to 10000minutes.com and if you want to get the free text messages, just text 10K, one zero K, to the number 55678. So, 10K to the number 55678. Thanks you guys. We'll be back on next Tuesday.

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